That thingy right there? That’s something I could use sooner that later. Can you? It’s the Livescribe 2GB Echo Smartpen. Take a gander and see what this little puppy can do! Even if you choose not to buy, just clicking through and taking care of that Amazon purchase you were thinking of anyway would do me a real favor and help make it possible to keep this stream of edu-tainment-al material flowing for your maximum pleasure and edification.

Don’t help just any ol’ rando on the internet. Help THE Rando of the Internet!

The Guardian: Want to transform your life? Stop chasing perfection

“Give up the rat race, accept reality and have the courage to be disliked – the latest self-help trend is not about self-reinvention but finding contentment in the life you have.”

Trend? I’ve been like this forever.

Discover: Case report: woman gives herself a C-section and saves her baby.

Just when you think you know what badass means.

PolitiFact: Have mandatory minimum sentences for criminals caught trying to enter the United States illegally

Be wary of mandatory minimum language from non-attorneys, including me. At least I provide citations so people who know better at least have a fair (and convenient) shot of weighing in. Keep reading!

ProPublica: An Atomwaffen Member Sketched a Map to Take the Neo-Nazis Down. What Path Officials Took Is a Mystery

Not a liberal thing. Definitely a problem. But we’ve cut funding to address it, and that was before the shutdown. Makes sense. Must shut down because we must have money for a wall because bad actors might do what these guys are up to on American soil already, but cut the money to stop them…

It’s enough to make a person’s head spin.

MIT Technology Review: First Evidence That Offshore Wind Farms Are Changing the Oceans

A tale of complex systems, ripple effects, and unintended consequences, albeit apparently (for now) good ones. #butterflywingshurricanesandallthat

Slate: Trump Official Once Complained That Using Condoms “Robs” Women of the “Remarkable Chemicals” in Semen

I seem to recall something about “precious bodily fluids.” Someone please tell these guys that Dr. Strangelove wasn’t a playbook.